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Saturday, May 18, 2013

Columns

In the race to get news wrong (04/24/13)
Like many, I spent the last week glued to my television and smart phone watching the happenings in Boston. But as one news outlet after another made misstep after misstep, I became increasingly embarrassed to say I was a member of the media, no matter how far removed...
Tax burden should fall on everyone (04/17/13)
I have to be honest. When I paid my federal and state tax obligation this week, I did so with a tinge of resentment. Granted, I recognize the importance and necessity of a tax obligation. I understand - as best I can - that these funds are what fuel much of our economy...
Race time: And the winner is? (04/03/13)
Growing up I remember running race after race on the playground gravel. I raced to impress the girls, settle differences, blow off steam and did I mention to impress girls? I thought my days of seeing boys settle their differences died on the playground gravel but I was wrong...
I'm not yet full of knowledge (03/20/13)
It is funny that no matter how old and gray I get, I can still learn new things. For example, what the word "full" means. For my entire life I thought "full" meant something that contains as much as possible. I have been told I'm wrong. It happened one night while out to dinner with my girlfriend. As the dinner wound down she still had some food on her plate and offered some to me...
Paws up, you've been caught! (02/27/13)
Having pets is sometimes like having children. For me and my pets, it is like having children who are too smart for their own good. Take my dog, Kramer. The little rat terrier could figure out a Rubix's Cube if it had food in it, probably in world record time...
These wrestlers don't ring true (02/13/13)
When I was a young, I loved to watch professional wrestling. I even used a wrestling move to get out of being picked on by a bully. I hit her with a trash can. So when I was offered free tickets to watch professional wrestling live, I jumped at it. What could be more entertaining than a bunch of muscled-up guys in tights rolling around in a ring? Maybe I didn't think that through...
A look at those Superbowl picks (02/06/13)
Every year I look forward to the Super Bowl. It's one of the best days of the year filled with football, great friends, good food and bad commercials. This year was like every year leading up to Super Bowl Sunday. For two weeks men who look like WWE wrestlers in suits dissect every little aspect of the game while men soak in as much as possible so we can regurgitate it to our friends like it is our own knowledge...
Heads or tails? (01/30/13)
The value of farm land in Southeast Missouri has always fluctuated; usually the price moves along with the financial health of the national economy. That was certainly the case beginning in the late 1920s. For Southeast Missouri, and especially New Madrid County the bad times began with the flood of 1927. ...
My quirks make me who I am (01/30/13)
Everyone has their little quirks that makes them unique and in some cases gets them committed. Me, I'm apparently very unique and well on my way to being committed. My girlfriend is learning these quirks rather quickly. The other day we were cleaning my kitchen cabinets and I had to look at each individual item asking questions about each one before going to the next one...
It's time to bring on spring! (01/23/13)
I hate cold weather. Wait. Hate isn't a strong enough word to truly explain how I feel about the cold. I despise the cold weather. Once the temperature drops below 50 degrees it is too cold for me. I would much rather be wearing flip flops, shorts and a T-shirt while sweating to death in the humid Missouri weather...
The old man in the mirror is me (01/16/13)
As I looked in the mirror this morning I had to take a second look just to recognize the person staring back at me. Exactly when did I get old? It seems like just yesterday I was 30 and getting carded to buy an R-rated movie. Now I'm pushing 40 and my license has dust on it because apparently only the nice police officer wants to see it nowadays...
Holding court and enjoying it (01/09/13)
For the last decade or more I have coached youth basketball. The thought of me having any influence over anyone under the age of 18 I'm sure is frightening to most and probably for good reason. First I love to win. If I was playing a game of checkers with a child on their death bed whose last wish was to feel the joys of victory I would try to crush them...
How the Grinch found Christmas (12/19/12)
For many years I have been a member of the fraternity Kappa Bah Humbug. The only requirement for joining is to hate Christmas. We have parties with kegs of spiked egg nog and play drinking games where every time somebody says Merry Christmas you drink. Those wearing Christmas sweaters are doomed to be chased down and given a wedgie by frat brothers still sober enough to run. Our mascot is a Grinch...
A man card trumps all others (12/12/12)
As a man I am part of an exclusive club where every move you make and every word that comes out of your mouth is scrutinized by fellow club members. As a part of this club we are even issued cards and we men spend our entire life trying to hold on to our "man card."...
Bowling is out of my league (12/05/12)
Once upon a time, in a bowling alley far, far away, there was a young lad who could make a bowling ball smashing against a group of pins look like art. Or at least I thought that's what I looked like. I was a bowler. I had my own ball and even took a bowling class in college. After all, I liked the tough classes. For my final, I averaged a 200 over three games. I made an A and praise from the "teacher" and glares from my classmates since we were graded on a curve...