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Saturday, Aug. 27, 2016

It's all in the words you choose

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Warning: Those who are offended by allusions to foul language or who might be inclined to chase me down and wash my mouth out with soap should probably not read any further.

What the $%? I was surfing through news stories the other day and came across a story about a community on the edge of Los Angeles that has become a cuss-free zone. You don't say?

Apparently the city council in South Pasadena, Calif., passed a proclamation that the first week in March was to be cuss-free inside the city limits. This is not the first time a city has tried quieting the foul-mouthed. Earlier this year, people in St. Charles proposed banning swearing in bars. Of course, then they realized the best way to stop cussing in bars was to stop serving alcohol and that idea went away faster than my idea of becoming a professional model.

It's probably a good thing I don't live in South Pasadena or I might find myself in a bit of trouble for I have been known to let the occasional "bad word" slip out. As a matter of fact, there are times when I can weave together a string of profanity that comes out like poetry. Not good poetry mind you, but poetry.

Personally, I don't find that all cuss words are that harmful. I try to refrain from profanity around children and I try to avoid calling people names and using the Lord's name in vain. However, if I'm walking through the house and stub my toe, you can bet I'm going to let loose an array of cuss words. Seeing as I'm not directing them at anyone I don't see the harm. Does saying the words make me feel any better? You bet your sweet, er, butt it does. It sure makes me feel better than saying "Sugarfoot, I stubbed my toe."

Believe me, growing up I experienced the taste of soap, but it didn't stop me from using the words. We hear them every day no matter how much people try to control it.

People use them to relieve stress like when I stub my toe, or better yet, when my computer crashes and I haven't saved in about an hour. I promise you I'm not meaning to offend anyone, but by gosh saying, "oh pooh" just doesn't make me feel any better.

Then there is the abusive swearing of which I'm a strong opponent. I try to never call anyone a foul name because believe me, I've been called a few in my lifetime. My wife has a list she uses when referring to me so she doesn't repeat the same one over and over. I'm not sure what I've done to deserve them.

But trying to better myself I decided to try and go cuss free last week. Seven days without cussing, how hard could it be?

Let me tell you how hard. I made the vow to myself the day before our "esteemed" city council approved the spending of $400,000 for a walking trail. My response, "Are you @$%#%^ kidding me?"

What am I supposed to say when our elected officials actually approve a $400,000 walking trail? Did we actually elect these people or was there a hanging chad? Did I sleep through the walkers with their picket signs outside city hall demanding a walking trail? Did I miss a slew of dogs sitting up, begging for a new place to drop their loads?

All I know is this had better be the best walking trail ever known to man. Walking on the thing had better be like walking on air. With a walking trail like this our "esteemed" city council better have their sorry, er, butts out on that trail every, er, dang day.

Maybe the next time I decide to better myself I will have to avoid reading about any decisions our "esteemed" city officials make. At the rate they're going, you might as well put me on a ship and send me out to sea to teach some sailors new words. You can bet they won't be words like sugarfoot.

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