This morning, as I was having my daily glass of prune juice and waiting for the Bush economic recovery to kick in, I found myself pondering several vexing questions, no doubt left over from the Clinton years. Since I'm a believer in the old adage "misery loves company," I decided to share the pain with my fellow readers.
In the spirit of "compassionate conservation," should we not reduce the national minimum wage to 75 cents per hour? If we did so, would India and China then outsource jobs to America? If so, would those countries be eligible for a U.S. tax credit?
Now that Dick Cheney has emerged from his undisclosed location and seen his shadow, are we likely to have four more years of record-high petroleum prices?
If gasoline prices climb to $3 a gallon, would it be appropriate for Mr. Bush to ask if we might borrow a few barrels of crude from our friends in Iraq?
Given that the country has witnessed less than sterling job growth during the Bush years, will our college graduates seek career opportunities at Burger King or Wal-Mart?
Excuse me while I get another glass of prune juice.
If Richard Clark was "out of the loop" in the months leading up to 9/11, are we to conclude that (God help us) Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld and Rice were "in the loop?" Speaking of being out of the loop, why are we squandering $1 billion a week and a soldier a day in Iraq?
Now that former Bush officials Richard Clark and Paul O'Neill have been exposed as liars and book profiteers, one has to wonder, is there anyone in the Bush administration capable of telling the truth?
Can anyone name the ranking government official held accountable for the incredible lapses that led to 9/11? I certainly can't! Is it fair to say that strict accountability is good for our nation's public schools, but not so good for official Washington?
Given that the Bush administration made a slight $130 billion-dollar error in calculating the costs of our nation's new Medicare prescription drug bill, I'm curious. Is there a remedial math component in No Child Left Behind?
Given that Medicare will drop into deficit spending this year and Social Security will follow suit in 2018, will our senior citizens pursue a second career at Burger King or Wal-Mart?
With "major combat operations" over and "mission accomplished" status achieved, who's going to sweep up all the confetti and rose petals the grateful people of Iraq continuously shower on our troops, aid workers and civilian contractors?
Prune juice, anyone?