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Thursday, Aug. 25, 2016

Blademakers' battle is on cutting-edge

Friday, October 3, 2003

If you look hard enough and long enough, you can find humor in the most unlikely spots. Sometimes you don't even have to look too hard.

A lawsuit was filed this week by Schick - the razor blade guys - against Gillette - the other razor blade guys. Schick is claiming Gillette used false advertising to promote its Mach3 Turbo blade against the Schick Quattro blade. So there you have it in a nutshell. Blade vs. blade. Down to the cutting edge. Should be a bloody lawsuit. It will surely be real close. They're neck and neck. And for now, that's all of the bad puns I can muster.

But the real kicker to these blade battles is that Gillette claims they spent $1 billion developing the Mach3 Turbo. One billion bucks to develop a razor blade? What am I missing here?

How could you possibly spend a billion dollars "developing" a new razor blade? Granted, I understand the spending needs of research and development. But a billion bucks would be more appropriate to developing a new rocket launcher or auto safety device. I just can't picture some scientific crew from Gillette trying to determine how to attain a closer shave and spending a billion dollars in the process.

I have shaved with used, rusty blades left by drunken fraternity brothers in the most disgusting places you can imagine. I have nicked myself, cut myself and even considered an aging pocket knife once in a true pinch. I have used Lava soap as a shave cream and hot water when no shave cream was available. That puts me in the experienced category.

Had I known Gillette spent a billion dollars on these new razors, I would have rushed to my nearest store just to savor the shaving sensation. If Gillette spends a billion to develop a new razor blade then they must spend a gazillion to develop their new electric razor.

A company which spends a billion on development for a razor blade should not be annoyed by a pesky lawsuit. Just pay the money.

P.S. I use the blue blades but I'm not sure who makes them. And quite frankly, I don't really care!

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