John Roach is a non-practicing attorney - whatever that may mean - who has proposed perhaps tongue-in-cheek that St. Louis secede from the fine state of Missouri. The author goes through a laundry list of ways that the fine city of St. Louis funds virtually every project throughout the entire state and he believes it would be better for St. Louis to perhaps join Illinois, where he believes more like-minds reside.
Well Mr. Roach, start your petition drive and let me be among the first to ink my signature. You big city folk seem to believe we outstate hillbillies are dragging you down, so by all means, start the process.
Can you imagine the improvement in overall test scores for schools across the state absent the scores from the city of St. Louis? And, overall, the state crime statistics would improve overnight. Goodness, the list is virtually endless.
Mr. Roach seems to fail to fully appreciate that those precious tax dollars that we hillbillies siphon from St. Louis come largely from the businesses that call that fine city home, not from the taxpayer base of our urban neighbor. I suspect many of those businesses realize the massive work pool that exists in your compacted population but, rest assured, your claim to those dollars is at best disingenuous.
Mr. Roach is hurt because we outstaters from time to time "diss" his beloved community. For that, we're sorry. But gosh fella, you give us so many opportunities to take those cheap shots.
St. Louis needs a new bridge. Southeast Missouri needs a new bridge. The difference is that our urban friends need it to better control the traffic congestion in their metropolitan area. We understand that. But we need a bridge because our primary route across the Mississippi is rated the most unsound of any bridge crossing the Mississippi from Minnesota to New Orleans. But Mr. Roach, you'll get your bridge before we will.
Actually, to the author I offer apologies. We would not want our friends in the city to consider a move away from our fine state. We know what St. Louis means to the economy of Missouri and we appreciate that fact. You actually complain about the state fair and the cost of maintaining outstate roads. You even opine about how to pronounce our great state. Guess what Mr. Roach? We don't care. I've never been to the Missouri State Fair but I darned well don't begrudge the funds spent on this showcase. Not any more than I resent having to help pay for the cost of the new Busch Stadium in your downtown area. I accept both with open arms.
Secede? All your efforts would accomplish is to raise the IQ of the state of Missouri and that is insufficient reason to offer such a draconian notion.