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Tuesday, Aug. 30, 2016

Movie just doesn't move me

Wednesday, May 9, 2007

I woke up Saturday morning and surprised myself and my wife with the idea of going to the movies to see "Spider-Man 3." Normally I don't want to go to a movie if I think it is going to be crowded because, well, I don't like people, especially people in a crowded theater. But Saturday I felt different so away we went.

I was actually looking forward to the movie. I had heard nothing but "Spider-

Man 3" hype since last summer and as embarrassing as it may be I enjoyed the first two films.

It didn't start out too bad either. My wife and I got there and while it was crowded we were still able to find two seats along the aisle. This is very important because it meant that I could sit in the aisle seat and not have to sit next to anyone. Not to mention the guy ahead of me was short and balding so I didn't have to stretch to see over his head. Even the little kid behind me was amusing. All was good, until the movie started.

I don't like to bash movies, but "Spider-Man 3" might be one of the worst I have ever seen. Most of the movie it seemed like they were writing so a 5-

year-old could understand which is fine except for the scary faces and sounds one of the villains made near the end which scared my wife half-to-


And then there was the crying. It seemed like every other scene somebody was crying and before long the kid behind me started to cry and then even I started to cry because I realized I would never get those two-and-a-half hours back.

About two-thirds through the film the kid behind me turned to his dad and said "I don't like it. I want to go." My thoughts exactly so I turned to my wife next to me to say the same thing and she was nodding off. I didn't want to wake her so I just went out to the lobby to stretch my legs and check the score of the Cardinal game. They were losing 13-0 but I would have had a lot more fun watching that than the dreadful movie.

I decided to go back in the theater and stick it out and to make sure my wife's snoring wasn't getting too loud. But while I watched the last part of the movie I couldn't help but think about the junk that they turn out in theaters.

It seems like every movie today is either a superhero movie or a remake of a movie made 25 years ago. In some cases they are even remakes of superhero movies like "Superman Returns." Does anybody in Hollywood have an original idea anymore?

All moviemakers want to do today is try and come up with the most outrageous special effects possible then throw the plot in later, if there is enough time. Apparently there wasn't enough time in "Spider-Man 3."

But the movie studio had plenty of time to hype the movie. I saw more ads for "Spider-Man 3" than I did for Geico Insurance. I couldn't turn on the television without seeing something Spider-Man.

And it worked too. It is sad, but "Spider-Man 3" made something like a bajillion dollars over the weekend and that was after nearly every review bashed the movie. Of course, most people, like myself, ignored the reviews and had to go see it. Imagine how much money the movie would make if it was actually good and people would go and watch it a second and third time.

Anyway, I thought about this as I watched the movie mercifully wind down. I realized the theme the "Spider-Man 3" writers were trying to get across was forgiveness. Unfortunately for the makers of "Spider-Man 3" I don't intend to forgive anytime soon. Well, at least until "Spider-Man 4" comes out. I can't wait until they make that.

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