Sikeston has a problem. Yeah, there could be fewer drugs, less crime and a better football team, but aren't those problems in all communities? What Sikeston has that other communities don't is a bunch of idiots who don't know the difference between a street and a sidewalk.
Take for example last week. First, on my way to buy a cup of coffee before work there was a group of kids who were waiting for the bus. Now by group I actually mean about 50 kids and by waiting for the bus I actually mean standing out in the middle of the street. I guess the days of waiting for the bus on street corners are no longer acceptable and the vacant parking lot that was right there was too vacant apparently. Anyway, these kids were kicking a football, oblivious to passing vehicles. In fact, they seemed surprised I got angry when the football they kicked hit my car.
Of course, the following day I am waiting at a stoplight when the light changed to green. The only problem was the entire intersection was unable to move because of two girls who evidently were "too cool" to even break stride as they crossed. Horns blared from all sides and the girls had the nerve to yell at the drivers.
I know I didn't grow up here, but where I went to school I was taught that when crossing the street you look both ways. If a car happens to be coming then you keep your butt on the side of the road until the car passes. The reason you wait is because when a car goes up against a pedestrian, 10 times out of 10 the car will win. That is just a little something else I learned in kindergarten I think.
Unfortunately, they must not teach these things in Sikeston. I know things get a little tough with the "No Child Left Behind" waste of time and the MAP tests everyone seems so worried about, but a little bit of common sense would be nice. And it isn't just one certain group of people or one area of Sikeston this occurs. It's everywhere. But never fear because I have an idea of how to solve this problem.
Now I know many of you are thinking: "Yeah, I can solve that problem. Just run them over." While I couldn't agree more we all know that is against the law. Unfortunately, the idiots on the street know this also so here is an idea.
First, maybe we can get DPS to actually arrest some of these individuals who can't seem to get out of the road. Instead of just telling them repeatedly to get out of the street, arrest them and take them in front of a judge or better yet, me.
Then instead of jail time or some pointless slap on the wrist I'm thinking a little bit of community service. Something like going to a local nursing home and giving sponge baths or cleaning out the cages at the humane society. This might just be convincing enough to keep people out of the roads. Juveniles who are caught could follow around school janitors and clean toilets and help with the clean-up after one of their fellow students vomits.
And if that doesn't work, well maybe we could get DPS to look the other way if we were to drive over a couple of them. Something tells me after that happened once or twice, the roads might be free and clear for quite some time.