Despite what my wife may say, I am not one for being pampered. Oh sure, I like it when my wife brings me food and drink while I sit in my recliner watching television, but I'm talking real pampering like getting a pedicure and such.
My wife on the other hand is big on the pampering things like a pedicure. She will go and pay somebody to massage her feet, file down and paint her toenails all while ridding her of that nasty, scaly skin. I've seen my wife's feet and that is certainly not a job I would want.
I think people pay way too much attention to their feet. Like I have told my wife many times, if you put on some socks and shoes nobody will have a clue what your feet look like. Really, from a guy's perspective, the feet are the last thing most of us notice anyway. I don't walk around scouting out feet to see whose toes have the most appealing polish. If you fix up your… eyes (what did you think I would say) then more guys will notice.
My wife says it is because I have never had a pedicure that I don't appreciate them. Well, I guess I'll never appreciate them. Besides, I don't think I would look very good with red toenail polish.
But just when I thought pedicures were bad enough I came across a story of a new type of pedicure that is taking place at a northern Virginia spa. With this pedicure you dunk your feet in a tank of water and let tiny carp nibble away. You read that correctly, fish eat your feet.
Apparently the fish replace using razors to scrape off the dead skin from your feet. The razors have been falling out of favor with regulators because of concerns about whether they're sanitary.
First, before reading the article I didn't even realize a pedicure entailed scraping off dead skin with a razor. Not only is that disgusting I find it a little dangerous. I can just imagine someone scraping the dead skin from my wife's feet and her sneezing and losing a toe. If you chuckled at that you don't know my wife. Believe me, it could happen.
Second, regulators are concerned about a razor blade being sanitary yet they are OK with sticking your feet in a tank full of fish? Here's an idea: dip the razor blade in alcohol before you use it and throw it away when finished. That is a heck of a lot more sanitary than letting fish eat your feet.
The cost of this little procedure is only $35 for 15 minutes and $50 for 30 minutes. Or even better, give me $50 and I will take you to a local pond where you can stick your feet in the water and maybe the fish will nibble at your toes.
I still really don't get how this works. The article said the fish are attracted to the dead skin and when somebody puts their feet in the tank the tiny fish swarm to the toes. I guess the nastier the feet, the more the fish like it.
Maybe that is a new way to fish. Here I've always went through the tedious process of putting a worm on a hook, throwing the line into the water and waiting for a fish to come along decide if he is in the mood for a worm. Next time I will just go out in a boat and put my feet in the water. Surely I'll catch a bunch of fish and probably have red toes to boot, although it may not be nail polish red.