Sikeston, Missouri · Friday, March 19, 2010
[Nameplate] Fair ~ 47°F  
Does this float your boat? (03/17/10)
For the last two months I have been living vampire hours while covering high school basketball games. That left me out of the informational loop so in getting back with the swing of things I decided to read some back issues of our great paper. That's when I saw that our Sikeston Department of Public Safety was getting an inflatable boat...
You should take my advice (05/13/09)
In these tough economic times, one can't be too careful with their spending. In fact, with newspapers dropping like flies all across the country, I'm starting to think about a second career. The only problem with finding a second career is there isn't much call for a sarcastic, below-average writer. ...
Pride: The great mistake (04/29/09)
There is a Proverb quote that goes something like: "Pride and poverty don't get along, but often live together." Very poignant stuff and also something that I found to be true this last week. Everything started so innocently as it most often does. I was sitting with a couple of co-workers, typing up track results, when the topic of how fast we could or couldn't run came up. ...
Bad fads just a part of life (12/17/08)
Well, winter has officially arrived in Southeast Missouri, complete with ice and frigid temperatures. But from the looks of things, teen girls have been expecting this weather for quite some time...
Bah, humbug! It's Christmas (12/10/08)
Once again, Christmastime is here. People are hanging lights from their houses, singing awful songs about snowmen and going crazy trying to find that perfect present that has been sold out for months. Ahhh, Christmas. I know, I'm the Grinch or a Scrooge or whatever you want to call me. I don't mean to be, but as Christmas gets closer and closer I seem to hate it more and more. But I do try...
My sports life is a fantasy (12/03/08)
"Fantasy football is the devil." It was a simple text message I got from a friend Sunday afternoon that stated so much in five little words. Yes, I am a 'fantasy football geek.' I didn't mean to be, it just sort of happened. What began as signing up for a team on a lark has turned into an obsession and not exactly one I'm all that proud of...
Beware of the evil kittens (11/26/08)
I used to think little kittens were cute, cuddly little things who liked to play with balls of yarn and give you that sweet, innocent little look with their big eyes. But that was before last week when I found out that some kittens can be evil...
I could be her parting shot (11/19/08)
There is an epidemic sweeping through the office of the Standard Democrat. While not the Bubonic Plague, it is something that can be just as deadly, especially for me...
I've no thirst for adventure (11/12/08)
It was a nice Saturday night. The house was quiet as my wife and dogs were snuggled in their bed while I was left to enjoy the quiet with my television remote in one hand and a nice, cold frosty beer in my other...
Bring on the next election (11/05/08)
By the time you read this, barring any hanging chads or voter fraud, we will have a new president and the election season will have mercifully come to an end. Personally I hope I don't hear the word "change" again until four years from now and if I get one more phone call from a stupid political group I may have to disconnect my phone. Apparently in Missouri the no call list means absolutely nothing...
Take my advice before you vote (10/29/08)
Six days. That is all the time left before we must decide which pathetic excuse for a presidential candidate we will vote for. While the days dwindle, I have been asked by several people if I will be endorsing anyone in this column...
Road trip with the three stooges (10/22/08)
Every once and a while you just need to get away for a few days. That was my thinking when I took off with two friends to watch a Kansas City Chiefs game this past weekend...
This is sign of wasted money (10/08/08)
Did you know that if you don't buckle your seat belt you could get a ticket? I know, it was news to me too. But that is sure what I learned the other day when I drove back from Benton on Interstate 55...
Some news to cheer and jeer (10/01/08)
While the stock market falls like a lead balloon and lawmakers bicker back-and-forth about what to do next, I have turned my attention to a couple of other issues that are flying under the radar...
Parade won't be as sweet (09/24/08)
Since I was a little kid I have loved parades. And what's not to like? There are the bands, police cars, fire trucks, pretty girls riding in convertibles, politicians handing out stickers and, of course, getting to see horses poop in public. But the greatest thing about parades is coming away with bags of candy...
This gouge is bleeding gas (09/17/08)
My story is like so many others. I was standing there, minding my own business, when I'm told if I need gas I had better go and get some before the price goes any higher. My response, like it is to most things, was "huh?"...
Speak up, not Speakout (09/03/08)
If I had a dollar every time I heard somebody say, "the only reason I get the paper is to read Speakout," I would be a rich man. Not only would I be a rich man, but I probably would have enough money to buy all the newspapers in the Midwest...
Going for the gold - my way (08/27/08)
I am tired. As a matter of fact, I'm worn out, not to mention in a little bit of withdrawal. Who wouldn't be though? After two weeks of the Olympics, I'm ready for a four-year rest. It was hard not to get hooked on the Olympics with the 3,600 hours of television coverage. I think the only channel I didn't see the Olympics on was Lifetime. Then again, that channel is blocked from my TV since all they want to show is movies about men beating women. Some woman's channel...
The wonders of my mind (08/20/08)
I have often been told that I have a warped mind. I'm starting to think I agree although it didn't dawn on me until this last weekend when my wife and I made an innocent trip to the store. First, there was the drive to the store when I saw a shoe on the side of the road. ...
Weighing in on sagging issue (08/13/08)
The Sikeston City Council had an interesting meeting last week as officials immersed themselves into the issue of, well, sagging. Never in my life would I have expected a city council to address this issue but these are the times and town in which we live...
David Jenkins
Sarcasm De Jour by David Jenkins